Wednesday, November 28, 2007

HARD TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO!!

For those of you who have ever had to be on long-term steroid use, you will understand what I am going through right now. I have been on high dose steroids for almost 12 years! I was supposed to be on steroids for 3 weeks but I have never been able to come off of them. I have severe difficulty breathing when I try to decrease. I am in the process of trying to lower the dosage once again - and once again I am getting weaker. So frustrating! The drugs help keep me going and alive yet the side-effects are killing me, too! Don't know what to do - except trust the doctors and God to get me through this!!

It is a beautiful day outside and I will try to enjoy the day and not focus on my health! So hard sometimes!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

BRRR!! IT'S COLD OUTSIDE BUT WARM IN MY HEART!!

It is finally getting cold here! We seemed to have just skipped a season and gone straight to winter. It is 37 degrees outside this morning and I have to go out! I am going to the thrift store to work today. I will be there all day, which is hard for me, but I am glad I can do it. My health seems to be doing a little better right now and I pray it continues. I am truly blessed by what God has done in my life - making friends, starting to be a little more active, going to a new bible study group for singles on Friday - things are looking up! And my daughter seems really happy, too! She is going back to work today and I think she is really excited about it - and it sure does help financially! God has truly blessed us both!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY!

Yesterday was my little girl's birthday! She was 21! Not so little! Where did the time go?? I am so grateful that I was here to celebrate with her! We had a great dinner together and we are really going to celebrate this weekend. I am so grateful to God that He blessed me with her 21 years ago! She is truly a blessing in my life!

Monday, October 22, 2007

What a Wonderful Homecoming!!

Here in Morgantown, WV, this past weekend was Homecoming for the WVU Mountaineers. It was a great game with the Mountaineers beating Mississippi State.

But there was an even better Homecoming here in Morgantown. It was the homecoming of Jacob Allen. For those of you who are not from this area and haven't heard, Jacob is an 18-year-old, severely autistic boy who was hiking with his family last Sunday and got lost. He was in the dense woods for 4 days before he was found, alive and well!! God is so good!! There is no earthly explanation why Jacob should have been found in the great condition he was in. Only God! The homecoming celebration at Chestnut Ridge Church, his home church, was wonderful! It was such a joyous occasion and I felt truly blessed to be a part of it!

The situation with Jacob reminded me once again that God is always faithful and when we think all is lost and we are all alone, God does work miracles and He is always with us!!

Praise God!! And Welcome Home Jacob!!

Friday, October 19, 2007

STAYING STRONG

Haven't been feeling great the last few days. The doctor isn't sure what is going on but I had to go back up on my steroids, which is very discouraging to me. Sometimes I don't feel like I have the strength to go on. But then I came across something that helped me stay strong. Not sure who wrote it but I love it:

"True strength is told in the suffering you have already overcome."

I have overcome a lot and will continue to overcome as much as I need. I know there is a reason for all I have gone through and even though I may not understand it now, one day I will be healthy and whole again. I will stay strong!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

"Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm."

Winston Churchill


"For a righteous man fails seven times, and rises again."

Proverbs 24:16

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Coming Out of My Funk and Joining the World Again!!

It has been a while since I have posted anything. I have been in kind of a funk. I have felt really bad and kind of just cut myself off from the world. But I have really been praying for strength and courage to keep on going and over the last few days I have felt that strength and courage. I went to church on Sunday and enjoyed it. It is really hard for me to go by myself but I know I have to. I can't use it an an excuse anymore. It has been beautiful outside and I have tried to get out more, too. Even walked down by the river today. Not very far and certainly not very fast, but at least I was outside! I went to lunch today with about 10 people from the Newcomers Club and really enjoyed it. My daughter's new landlord went with me and we really both enjoyed it. I am so glad I met her - think we will become great friends. I am going to go to a Bible study with her starting next week. Things are just really looking up. I refuse to give up even though sometimes it seems like it would be much easier. But I know that God has something planned for me and my life and I will just keep going and try to follow in the steps that God wants me to walk! I am so thankful for friends and family who don't give up on me!!

Friday, April 6, 2007

HAPPY EASTER!





Happy Easter!! Though this story is not really an Easter story, it really struck me when I received it from a friend by email. It truly shows how Jesus wants us to treat others and how sometimes we fall far short of that. Let's try to remember on this special day, and everyday, that the way we treat others is the way we treat Him.

Have a blessed holiday!!

DART TEST

A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr. Smith. She says that Dr. Smith was known for his elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they were in for a fun day. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture. Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally was pleased with the overall effect she had achieved.

The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the students threw their darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats. As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smith began removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced.

Dr. Smith said only these words... 'In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me.' Matthew 25:40.

No other words were necessary; the tears filled eyes of the students focused only on the picture of Christ.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Spring is Here!



Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.

Unknown


Happy Spring! Today is the first day of spring and I pray that along with the beautiful flowers and weather it brings that it brings good health and happiness to all!It has been a beautiful day here - a little breezy but beautiful! We are off to a good start!

After feeling like things were kind of "funny" between my daughter and I the last few days, we had a great night last night and things are fine. As she often tells me "I am just paranoid."! I am so blessed to have her and I thank God every day for her.

I pray for my friend who is having lots of health problems and marital problems. I just pray for her peace and health. Wish I could do something more for her but I hope she knows that I am there for her if she needs me.

I hope your Spring is off to a good start!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY!

It has been beautiful outside the last few days - about 70 degrees! Much different from last week when we had 6 inches of snow on the ground! Don't think the 70 degree weather is going to last but spring is on its way!

I just wish my health would be so beautiful! It has been a rough for days. Feel like I am on the downhill slide again and it is so frustrating. I just don't understand why I can't stay well! I am trying not to get discouraged but honestly it has been tough the last few days. I have not been in the best of moods - just ask my daughter! I am trying to keep upbeat but some days that isn't so easy!

I didn't get to go to my HopeKeepers meeting tonight. Just too weak and my eyes to blurry and having too much trouble breathing! That really frustrated me because we only meet every 2 weeks and I was really looking forward to going. Debra called me and wanted to come over and pray for me and I didn't even feel like having her over. She prayed for me over the phone and that meant a lot.

Well, I guess enough for being down today. Tomorrow is another day and I just know it will be better!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

GOD KNOWS THE PLAN!



I went to dinner last night with Debra. I really enjoyed it but had to leave rather abruptly because I couldn't breath very well. I am trying to come down off the prednisone and it is really causing problems. I am trying to tough it out because I really need to get off this drug, but my body is really fighting it. I just pray that I make it through this weekend without having to call the doctor.

As frustrated as I get with my illness and the inability to stay well, I have to believe that even if I don't understand why, God has a reason for all of this.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you., plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

PRAISE GOD FOR HIS WONDEROUS WORKS!!

Somedays, like the last few days, it is really hard to feel good about much of anything when my body is feeling as bad as it is. But then I think about the fact that God made me in His wonderful way and I praise Him! I may not understand why He made my body the way He did, but I praise Him for his wonderous works!


You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Psalm 139:13-16 NLT

Sunday, March 4, 2007

WHAT IS NORMAL WHEN IT COMES TO HEALTH?

Not feeling great today. Tried to go to church - actually did go but had to leave. My eyes started to shut on me. They haven't done that in a while but I could feel it coming. They are open somewhat now but not all the way and I just in general feel tired. I was very disappointed and discouraged because I really wanted to go. I met Debra and her husband Don there and church had just started when I could feel it coming on. Debra was very sweet - came out and prayed for me and then called me after church to check on me. At least I know I have a friend here now!

But even when things seem to be at their worst, God is always there. I was searching the internet for devotions and came across this one which I feel couldn't be more appropriate for today - or my life in general! God truly is awesome!


What’s normal?
By John Fischer

“Grace must wound before it can heal.” — Flannery O’Conner

There are two schools of thought when it comes to the problem of pain. One says: “Sometimes the going will get tough, and in those times you need to remember that your faith will get you through and something good will come out of hardship. Hang in there, this will soon be over.” The other would be: “Get use to it. Pain, suffering, and hardship are necessary for growth. They will be constant companions to those who desire to know and love God deeply. Get ready for the long haul. If you’re feeling good and life is relatively painless, that’s the abnormal experience, not the norm. Enjoy it, but don’t expect it.”

These perspectives present what appears to be subtle differences, when, in fact, they have huge ramifications for the follower of Christ. One says that suffering is a glitch on the spiritual map, a storm one can weather, a malfunction easily corrected with a certain degree of patience and determination. This perspective believes that there exists a “normal” state for a believer that is relatively comfortable and risk-free. But in reality, this perspective is unbiblical and actually lines up more with a culture that treats discomfort as something we deserve to have alleviated. Multi-billion dollar industries are dedicated to creating and maintaining this myth, and convincing us all that the good life is attainable with, of course, the help of the product being touted. In other words, “normal” is just around the corner.

The other perspective is much more in keeping with reality and the belief that our real purposes go way beyond this life and this present darkness. It is a perspective that expects hardship and pain to be a part of the day-to-day program. If we are waiting for anything, we are waiting for eternity with Christ, not for everything to get better here on earth. We have learned that trials are such an integral part of our growing life in Christ that we even welcome trouble when it comes our way, because we know that by it, our faith is found worthy of being tested and our endurance will have a chance to grow (James 1:2-3).

This is not about being pessimistic. It’s about being realistic and learning how to find joy in the midst of even the most difficult things. Getting “normal” right is half the battle.

“God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith. As a result, I can really know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I can learn what it means to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that, somehow, I can experience the resurrection from the dead.” (Philippians 3:10-11 NLT)

Through all my illness, I truly know that God is with me!

Saturday, March 3, 2007

STARTING TO FEEL LIKE HOME!!

It has been a pretty good few days. I went to the HopeKeepers meeting Wednesday and really enjoyed it. I really didn't feel like going, had decideded NOT to go, but God kicked me out of my chair about 15 minutes before the meeting and made me go! I am glad He did and glad I listened to him. I met Debra and Barb and really enjoyed talking to them and getting to know them. I had dinner with Debra tonight and really enjoyed getting out and having some company!

I went to see my neurologist today. He is going to try to cut down on my prednisone a little. I am glad but at the same time, I get really nervous. Everytime we try to go down on the dosage, I start having trouble breathing. He is going to take it real slow so hopefully things will go well. It usually takes about 5 days or so before I can really tell if I am going to have problems. Hopefully not this time! I was supposed to be on this drug for about 3 weeks and it has been 10 years!!! Time to get off of it - the side-effects are horrible! Hopefully this is the time!!

I am really starting to feel at home more and more here in Morgantown and become more convinced everyday that I made the right decision in moving here. God really led me here, every step of the way. He is so awesome!! I am starting to make friends and feel like I really do have people who care - and who I care about! Even though I have friends in other places, it feels so good to start having friends here and feel like I belong! God's love is truly unbelievable!

~~Never Silent~~

A loving heart, a gentle smile, a warm and tender touch
We give so many things in life but nothing means as much.

A little inspiration when one loses hope,
A kind word of encouragement when they no longer seem to cope
A simple phrase, "I love you"when no one else is there
Taking hold onto a hand in a little heartfelt prayer.

Love is never silent. It has so much to say,
And it is our greatest blessing when we give it all away

Author Unknown

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

GETTING OLD IS TOUGH!!!





I went to one of my doctors today. Not much to report yet - did some blood work to check the anemia, which is still ongoing, and to see if I am going through "the change"! I just don't see how that is possible - I couldn't possible be old enough for that!!!! These hot flashes MUST be due to something else!! Whatever they are due to, I hope it goes away soon. I am not sleeping at all at night, which is making recovery from my illness a little tough since I need a lot of rest! Hopefully this will all go away soon! My daughter and I had lunch today after my appointment and I enjoyed that.


I made a new friend today. I was reading my Quest magazine - a magazine for people with MD, which my disease is classified as. They have a section for penpals and there was a lady named Brenda, who is my age and has MG! Not that I am excited for her that she has the disease but it is nice to find someone my age who has the disease and understands what it is like. Even though this disease is different for everyone, it is nice to have someone who is going through some of the same things. We have corresponded by email and I feel like we will keep that up. It was a nice surprise in my day!


I start a new group tomorrow called HopeKeepers. It is a group I found for people with chronic illnesses. I think it is a national group but they have meetings here in Morgantown. I have spoken to one of the members and she is very nice - even offered to pick me up if I couldn't drive. They meet at a church right down the street from my house so it is really convenient. It is also a bible study, and I have been looking for one to join. This could be an answer to prayers. I am looking forward to meeting some new friends and growing in the Word!


All in all, it was a pretty good day! Really wiped out tonight so hope I sleep well but looking forward to another beautiful day tomorrow!!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US!!





The snow is starting to melt and it is getting a little warmer outside. This Georgia girl isn't used to sub-zero temps! But things are getting better!

God is so good! Even when times are bad! I was on my way to a Newcomer's Club luncheon on Tuesday - I am trying to meet some new friends! - and my car would not start! Dead as a doornail! My precious daughter came to take me so I wouldn't miss my luncheon! I have AAA (thank goodness!) They came to tow my car because it just wouldn't stay started even after jumping it off. So off my car went to Superior Ford!

Then yesterday morning, my daughter calls me and tells me her car had been towed - not an unusual occurrence here in Morgantown where parking is always at a premium - but just a little frustrating because her house has its own parking and someone was in her place so she had to park on the street and got towed. Granted, she parked in a yellow zone but as she says everyone does, but she got caught. Well, of course, my car was still in the shop and I had no way to get her. I called my mechanic (and now dear friend!) Frank and he offered to loan me his personal car, even had someone come pick me up to come get his car. So I spent the morning going to the bank (it isn't cheap to get your car towed!), going to the Morgantown Police Department to get a release for her car, picking her up from class, then going to pick up her car and take Frank back his car. All this was done in 2 hours and she was back for her classes!

My car is still in the shop but it is not going to cost nearly as much as I thought - some of what is wrong is under warranty! Thank goodness for good and honest mechanics!

God is so good! It wasn't too long ago that all of this would have stressed me out completely and while yesterday morning wasn't fun, I handled it and just dealt with it (much better than my daughter did - she still has a ways to go in learning to deal with stresses!) But together she and I managed to get through it - all with God's help!



Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you.”

Mary Stevenson

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!




I hope you all have a very Happy Valentine's Day!! Celebrate with someone you love, whether it be your spouse, your significant other, your child, your friends. Remember, Valentine's Day doesn't have to be just for lovers - it is just for LOVE!!
"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
~~Franklin P. Jones~~

Friday, February 9, 2007

REMEMBER THE BLESSINGS IN YOUR LIFE!!

No matter what happens in my life, I am trying to be grateful for all my many blessings, of which there are many!!

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many--not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."

Charles Dickens, Novelist

Sunday, February 4, 2007

GREAT WEEKEND WITH MY DAUGHTER!!

I am getting a little stronger every day. It has been a good weekend. My daughter and I ran a few errands Friday and then went out to dinner. We had a great time. She spent the night with me and we just had a lot of fun together. She had to work Saturday but then she spent the night with me again. I love having her here with me! She does so much for me but the most important thing is she just spends time with me -and I don't even ask her! That makes it so special!! It is so cold today that I don't think I will do much but stay in and stay warm!! Good day to watch the Super Bowl! But at least I am feeling a little better - hope it keeps up! God is so good!!

Thursday, February 1, 2007

MAY NOT HAVE GOOD HEALTH BUT HAVE WONDERFUL FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!

I am still trying to recover from my latest hospital stay. I am doing a little better but still not able to do much. Get really tired and short of breath. My daughter is still helping a lot - going to the store for me, cleaning for me, etc. I am trying to do more on my own, though. But even though this has been a rough time, some good has come out of it. I have gotten back in touch with friends and family that for whatever reason, I had not been in contact with very much. It is a good feeling and I don't plan to ever loose contact again. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how much money or possessions you have, having people you love and who love you is what matters and God has blessed me with wonderful friends and family!

Monday, January 22, 2007

REMEMBER TO ALWAYS TELL THOSE YOU AROUND YOU THAT YOU LOVE THEM!!!

It has been a while since I last posted. I did have to be admitted to the hospital and then had to be on a ventilator for 10 days. It was not a lot of fun! I am doing a little better now. At least I am home. I am still really weak but my breathing is better. My daughter has been staying with me since I got home. It has been nice having her here. She cooks for me and takes care of me. I don't have much of an appetite and probably wouldn't eat at all if it wasn't for her! She will probably go home tomorrow or the next day. She is only about 5 minutes away but I will miss her so much. But she needs to get back to her normal routine. These last few weeks have been rough on her - working 2 jobs, going to school full-time and taking care of a sick mom. But she has never complained and is always there for me.

Always remember to tell those around you how much you love them. You just never know when you might not have another chance!

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

SHOW SOMEONE KINDNESS TODAY

I am still not doing great - going downhill. I go to the doctor tomorrow. I will probably be put in the hospital once again - should probably be there now!

But through it all, there have been some bright spots. My daughter came over two nights ago to check on me - she calls me all the time and comes over when she is not working. She got me something to eat and just spent some time with me. I was sitting in my chair, which is all I can do right now, and realized she was cleaning the kitchen!! And I don't mean just wiping off the counters - she was deep cleaning! It may seem like a little thing but to me it was huge!! I have not been able to do much and she knows how much I can't stand having it not clean. She even mopped my floor! And I didn't even ask her! It meant more to me than I can ever express. And everyday she calls me numerous times to see if I need anything, if I need her to bring me food, if I need to go to the hospital, just to check in. I am truly blessed!!

I just hope we all can remember that we don't have to do anything major to make a difference in someone's life. Just a call, a touch, a hug, an "I love you" can make all the difference in the world!


NEVER SILENT

A loving heart, a gentle smile, a warm and tender touch
We give so many things in life but nothing means as much.

A little inspiration when one loses hope,
A kind word of encouragement when they no longer seem to cope
A simple phrase, "I love you" when no one else is there
Taking hold onto a hand in a little heartfelt prayer.

Love is never silent
It has so much to say,
And it is our greatest blessing
when we give it all away.

Author Unknown

Show someone you love a kindness today - or someone you don't know who could use a loving touch!! It will mean more to them than you will ever know.