God is truly awesome. While I am not feeling a whole lot better physically, emotionally I am a new person today. Last night while I was relaxing in the bath, I just started crying and praying, asking God for some peace about what is going on in my life as far as my health and my finances. While no big check came in the mail today, I did receive a huge dose of peace and contentment! Nothing has really changed but I know that I will make it through! I feel calm and at peace - and that is sure to help my health.
I actually slept in my bed last night - something I have not been able to do in about a week because of my difficulty breathing. I have been sleeping in my recliner so it felt good to actually sleep in my own bed.
My daughter went back to her house today - kind of quiet without her here. But I am so blessed that she stayed with me during the holidays. She didn't have to do that - her house is only about 5 minutes away - but it was so nice to have her here! I am so truly blessed to have her for my daughter. She has had to deal with a lot but she is always there for me and I love her more than I can ever express!
I am trying to take it easy this week - don't really have much choice, not physically able to do much. I want to get good and healthy so I can start out 2007 on a good note!! I want to be able to focus on my on-line businesses, on my crafts, just on getting on with life!!
Even though the holidays have been wonderful with my daughter, I am so afraid right now - health problems, financial problems. How am I going to make it through all of this? But I know that no matter how tough things are, God is always there for me and there is a reason I am going through this and He is walking with me.
I came across this story and felt is was so perfect for how I am feeling right now:
"A good friend of mine once went to visit his brother during a time of deep crisis. His marriage was struggling, his business was near collapse, and his money was drying up quickly. He had just sold his home and moved into a one-bedroom apartment and had no idea how he was going to dig himself out of his financial and relational problems.
My friend listened as his brother confided in him about his deep frustration. "Some days you want to go outside and shake your fist at heaven and say, 'God, why don't you help me?'" his brother said.
My friend looked at his brother in the eye and said somberly, "That wouldn't do any good. He doesn't even know who you are." The two looked at each other for several seconds then burst out laughing. The two brothers had spent their lives trusting God and studying his Word, and the absurdity of the statement left them both in stitches. Years later, the brother told my friend that his joke had brought him a great deal of comfort during his trying time. Even more, it gave him renewed perspective.
We've all felt abandoned by God at one time or another. God cares deeply when we suffer, and he is right there beside us all the time. At times like these the best thing to do is put your hand in his and trust him with your future. Because he not only knows what you're going through, he knows exactly who you are.
from Embracing Eternity by Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins and Frank M. Martin (Tyndale) p 166 "
