God is truly awesome. While I am not feeling a whole lot better physically, emotionally I am a new person today. Last night while I was relaxing in the bath, I just started crying and praying, asking God for some peace about what is going on in my life as far as my health and my finances. While no big check came in the mail today, I did receive a huge dose of peace and contentment! Nothing has really changed but I know that I will make it through! I feel calm and at peace - and that is sure to help my health.
I actually slept in my bed last night - something I have not been able to do in about a week because of my difficulty breathing. I have been sleeping in my recliner so it felt good to actually sleep in my own bed.
My daughter went back to her house today - kind of quiet without her here. But I am so blessed that she stayed with me during the holidays. She didn't have to do that - her house is only about 5 minutes away - but it was so nice to have her here! I am so truly blessed to have her for my daughter. She has had to deal with a lot but she is always there for me and I love her more than I can ever express!
I am trying to take it easy this week - don't really have much choice, not physically able to do much. I want to get good and healthy so I can start out 2007 on a good note!! I want to be able to focus on my on-line businesses, on my crafts, just on getting on with life!!
Even though the holidays have been wonderful with my daughter, I am so afraid right now - health problems, financial problems. How am I going to make it through all of this? But I know that no matter how tough things are, God is always there for me and there is a reason I am going through this and He is walking with me.
I came across this story and felt is was so perfect for how I am feeling right now:
"A good friend of mine once went to visit his brother during a time of deep crisis. His marriage was struggling, his business was near collapse, and his money was drying up quickly. He had just sold his home and moved into a one-bedroom apartment and had no idea how he was going to dig himself out of his financial and relational problems.
My friend listened as his brother confided in him about his deep frustration. "Some days you want to go outside and shake your fist at heaven and say, 'God, why don't you help me?'" his brother said.
My friend looked at his brother in the eye and said somberly, "That wouldn't do any good. He doesn't even know who you are." The two looked at each other for several seconds then burst out laughing. The two brothers had spent their lives trusting God and studying his Word, and the absurdity of the statement left them both in stitches. Years later, the brother told my friend that his joke had brought him a great deal of comfort during his trying time. Even more, it gave him renewed perspective.
We've all felt abandoned by God at one time or another. God cares deeply when we suffer, and he is right there beside us all the time. At times like these the best thing to do is put your hand in his and trust him with your future. Because he not only knows what you're going through, he knows exactly who you are.
from Embracing Eternity by Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins and Frank M. Martin (Tyndale) p 166 "
I really am starting to feel the Christmas spirit! I am feeling okay - not great but a little better. But the best thing is my daughter has spent the last few nights with me and we have had lots of fun. Even though we live in the same city and see each other a lot, it felt kind of weird not having her here at my house during the holidays. We have watched movies, played games, baked, laughed, and just had fun together! I am so lucky to be able to spend so much time with her - she is such a blessing in my life!!
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and can enjoy your family and friends and the time you have together!!
I am feeling a little better today. I finished my treatments yesterday, thank goodness!! They went okay but having some problems with the increase of steroids. But the medicine (yes, another medicine) the doc gave me yesterday for those problems seem to be helping.
I felt good enough to meet my daughter for brunch today before she went to work. We had a nice time together. On the way to the restaurant we had both passed a homeless man on the side of the road. She brought it up first to me but I had also seen him. We decided to go get him some lunch and take it to him before she went to work. She has such a heart for that and it makes me very proud. He said he was very hungry and was very appreciative. We hope to be able to do it on a regular basis. There seems to be more people in need around here lately, or maybe we are just noticing more. It truly makes me feel so grateful for everything I have - even though sometimes I feel like I have lost so much, I truly am so very, very blessed!!!
"If you want to life yourself up, lift up someone else."
Booker T. Washington
Another day of treatment down - 2 to go! I don't feel like it is helping a lot but I have to keep the faith! And I can't worry about tomorrow - I have to just focus on today and do what I can!!
So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today!"
Matthew 6:25-34 NLT"
Today was day 2 of 5 of my treatments at the hospital. So far, so good. I am trying to avoid having to go into the hospital before Christmas! Hopefully these treatments will work! I feel okay, not great, but at least don't think I am getting any worse. The nurses have been so wonderful at the hospital and that really helps! I will make it through this and be able to have a wonderful Christmas!!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Phillipians 4:13
Clothed in kindness
"A doctor once stepped into a taxicab and discovered an unusually friendly driver.…he asked the man why he was so cheerful. "It all started," he said, "when I heard about a taxi driver who was so kind to a passenger that the man remembered him in his will, leaving him $65,000. I thought I would try it, and maybe somebody might leave me something. But after I tried it, I found it was so much fun being good that I decided I would do it for the fun of it, reward or no reward."
The world would certainly be a more cheerful place if we all had such good dispositions. Imagine walking down the street and seeing nothing but smiling faces.…Life is not a bed of roses, and most people are too happy to let you know that. That's what we tell ourselves when we want to appease our guilt on those dark and dreary days. I'm not the only one who's had a bad day, we think. People are just going to have to understand.
Maybe they do, but how does Jesus feel about it? Kindness should flow out of the life of a Christian. The world has an excuse to be angry, but we don't. Redeemed people should act like they're happy to be redeemed.This is what separates believers from those who haven't discovered the goodness of Christ. We have a reason to rejoice. We have a standard to uphold. We have a Savior to pattern our life after.
"…you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Colossians 3:12 NLT
from Embracing Eternity by Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins and Frank M. Martin (Tyndale) p 86"
I am off to the doctor today. There is a chance that I may have to go in the hospital. I hope not but I am going prepared. The breathing is not great but I am hanging in there. It just always seems to happen around the holidays which is really frustrating. But I am trying very hard to keep a positive attitude. I found a saying in a magazine the other day that kind of sums up what I feel - "I'm Proud That I Keep Trying!" And I will keep trying - to get better, to get my business going, just trying at life! I refuse to let any of this get me down - at least not for long!!
People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care!!!
During this holiday season, and all year long, remember to show those around you just how much you care!!
This has been kind of a rough week. Not feeling great. I went to the doctor yesterday and I am definitely severely anemic - just can't figure out why. Also can't figure out why all the abdominal pain. Also having more shortness of breath - due to anemia or mysasthenia - who knows? More lab tests and more MRI's next week. But through it all, my daughter was with me so that helped. Don't know what I would do without her. I hate to burden her with all of this but she never complains - at least not to me! I will make it through this too. I know that God has a reason for all of this - just hard to understand it sometimes!!
Always remember that
Joy is not what is going on around you, but what is inside of you!
Yesterday was a wonderful day. My daughter and I finally had Thanksgiving dinner - she had been out of town - but it was worth the wait! We had a great meal but an even better time together. We also decorated my house for Christmas and just had a great time. Even though I was not feeling great physically, I felt a lot better emotionally after spending the day with her. She truly is wonderful medicine for me!!
It seems that every year, Christmas becomes more and more commercialized. The stores start decorating sooner, ads appear earlier on TV, toy catalogs reach our homes before Halloween is even over. Please take a moment this season to remember the true meaning of the season. While it is fun to celebrate with Santa and to have all the parties and gatherings, the true meaning of the season is the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ!
Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and remembers all the things they are thankful for today. Even though sometimes things are tough, we truly have some much to be thankful for!! Happy Thanksgiving!
On my way to Columbia today. First time I have been back since my father died. His Rotary Club is honoring him and it is very important to me to be there. I am a little nervous - it is going to be a really emotional time. I am so grateful my daughter is going with me. I couldn't make it without her. Physically couldn't drive myself but also need her emotionally. God has truly blessed me with her!!
This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good,
but what I do today is important
because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,
leaving in its place something that I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain and not loss; good and not evil;
success and not failure; in order that I shall not
regret the price I have paid for it.
'Unknown'
Not feeling too good today. Some days this neurological disease really gets me. I am not breathing too well and feel really tired. Kind of cold and dreary outside. It is a good day to take it easy at home. But it is a new day and I am here! No matter how I physically feel, it is a great day!! I have to remember that day by day God will take care of me and all I have to do is trust in Him for each day's needs. I know when I am having a difficult time, God sends me the strength and nourishment I need to face what comes my way. (Exodus 16:4).
I am new to this - this is my first blog ever! But the last 10 years have not been easy on me but I have refused to give up! This blog will be my story of the last few years and the story of my life now and what I hope my future will be. Hopefully it will be inspirational to all those who read because through it all, I have refused to give up!! Each new day is A Beautiful New Day for me!
